<![CDATA[The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC

<![CDATA[The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC - Blog]]>Thu, 03 Sep 2026 22:15:01 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Suffering Isn't Always Obvious]]>Sat, 29 Aug 2026 16:33:27 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/suffering-isnt-always-obvious

While we focus much of our messaging on wellness, self-care, and coping activities, we can never forget that so many of us are silently suffering. September’s suicide awareness campaigns remind us not only to take care of our own mental health, but to look around ourselves a little more carefully. Be a little more attentive. Listen a little more closely for those tiny clues that we usually don’t notice.

Recently, I was reminded of this with a client who reached out after their weekly session to let me know they were actually not okay. They were not coping as well as they appeared to be. They were feeling hopeless and were starting to think about ways they might attempt suicide rather than their previous reports of coping with depression and anxiety. This person did not present themselves the way we imagine someone who is thinking of suicide would act. They smiled. They laughed. They went to work. They went to the grocery store. They did all the normal things. They told people they were “fine”.

Thankfully, that person reached out to me. We spent four hours together that day doing everything we could together to ensure their safety. We spent an hour the next day. Two hours a couple days after that.

If you’re feeling hopeless, suicidal, like there’s no use trying anymore - don’t keep silent. Tell someone close to you, or your doctor, or your coworker, or your pastor. Ask them to help you get started. Ask them to help you make the phone calls. Ask them to help you find resources.

If you have no one, call 911.  Call or text 988 or text TALK to 741741.  Llama o envía un mensaje de texto al 988 o envía un mensaje de texto con AYUDA al 741741.

If you are in Southwest Florida, we also recommend calling Crisis Prevention & Empowerment’s Mobile Crisis Response Hotline (free), any time day or night (even holidays!) at 844.395.4432 if you are in crisis.

Lastly, if you are doing okay, watch out for each other, and remember to keep watching when September is over.

]]><![CDATA[Three More Obscure & Unusual Hobbies for Good Mental Health]]>Sun, 28 Jun 2026 18:59:47 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/three-more-obscure-unusual-hobbies-for-good-mental-health

For those who missed our first post on this subject, we like to occasionally offer ideas for FUN (based on Glasser’s Five Basic Human Needs) ACTIVITIES (based on Dialectical Behavioral Therapy coping skills).

Stress is a common theme in all our lives, and proactive self-care can make a big difference in our personal resiliency. Without further ado, here are three more obscure & unusual hobbies for good mental health.

Postcrossing

Perfect for people who feel isolated due to social anxiety or are unable to leave home, Postcrossing is a fun twist on snail mail. Sign-up is free, and the only participation costs are postcards and postage. You’ll send and receive postcards to and from people all over the world, post photos of the cards sent and received, and see what cards others have sent and received. The U.S. Postal Service even has a "Global Forever" stamp in honor of the hobby.

The site owners do a good job of protecting private information - you can’t access everyone’s addresses directly, for example - but the individuals with whom you are randomly matched will have access to your posted mailing address. If you prefer an additional layer of privacy, renting a post office box is recommended. Browse through their FAQs page to get a good idea of what it is and how it works. And you never know - you might one day receive one from us!

Sashiko

For those who crave serenity, there is Sashiko. For a good introduction and understanding of Sashiko, please check out our book recommendation for July 2026, Sashiko: The Untold Story.

More than just a style of embroidery, Sashiko is a deep Japanese cultural tradition born out of necessity and revived for its art. Its beauty is in developing the rhythm between human, needle, thread, and fabric - a rhythm that is meditative and forgiving of mistakes while striving for quality. The process is best executed with mindful intention, prayer, or the telling of stories, slowly and with focus on the mo(ve)ment at hand. The end result is the beauty and utility of the work of one’s hands.

Paper Vine (Eco Vine) Weaving

Lastly, for our environmentalist friends, there is paper vine weaving, sometimes called eco vine weaving. Another inexpensive hobby, this involves using packing paper (I think of the paper used for packing that comes in Amazon boxes) cut into sections and rolled, then coated in glue. The tubes are moistened prior to weaving. Due to their flexibility, they are excellent for small, intricate creations as well as larger baskets and trays. They are treated in the end with additional glue or varnish, which makes the final product sturdy, durable, and surface washable. Weevyn has good information for beginners, as well as a short introductory video to get you started.

As always, we encourage you to get off the electronics and have some real world, tactile fun - even if you’re not currently able to leave your house. It’s good for you and, in some cases, good for the environment, too.

*We are not affiliated with any of the product manufacturers listed above, and do not receive any compensation for listing them. In fact, we’re pretty sure they are unaware we exist.

Heidi E. Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

]]><![CDATA[Hurricane Prepping with Autism, ADHD, AUDHD]]>Thu, 30 Apr 2026 22:57:42 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/hurricane-prepping-with-autism-adhd-audhd

Ugh! Hurricane Season!

Nobody wants to think about hurricane season again. We all already have enough demands on our attention, mental focus, and recreation time. Prepping is just too stressful to think about!

This post is for all of us who consider ourselves champion neurodivergent procrastinators with a full-blown case of the “I-don’t-want-tos”.

This will make it easier for you:

Start as early as March 1, no later than May 1 so you don’t have to rush.

Get two pieces of paper or two computer windows open, and divide the pages into two columns each.

Label the first page columns “things to buy” and “by this date”.

Label the second page columns “things to do” and “by this date”.

Keep a blank scratch paper to the side.

Download this free, SHORT Hurricane Prep Guide.

Follow the steps.

Relax while everyone else runs around looking for all the toilet paper, water, and snacks you already bought.

The End.

*We are not affiliated with any of the product manufactures listed in the guide, and do not receive any compensation for listing them. In fact, we’re pretty sure they are unaware we exist.

Heidi E. Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

]]><![CDATA[Will My Therapist Judge Me Based on Politics?]]>Thu, 29 Jan 2026 00:40:06 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/will-my-therapist-judge-me-based-on-politics

With so many healthcare workers publicly stating their intention to refuse care or even harm people over conflicting values and political beliefs, it’s important to review exactly what professional ethics require of our different professions.

In this post, I will highlight the ethical codes for the three main counseling professions: Clinical Mental Health Counseling (LMHC), Marriage and Family Therapy (LMFT), and Social Work (LCSW). All three of these professions require a state license in order to practice as a counselor or therapist in the United States, although different states may use different titles. If you’re not sure what the difference is between these three professions, here is a previous article which explains them.

Clinical Mental Health Counselors (LMHCs)
Governed by: American Counseling Association’s (ACA) Code of Ethics

In its preamble to the code, the ACA describes 6 guiding core values. Although the ACA is the only one of the three counseling professions’ ethical codes to name them, these core values have historical context and are used as the basis for the majority of healthcare ethical principles, so it’s important to understand them.

Autonomy - from the ancient Greek, meaning “self-rule”. According to the ancient Greeks, individuals have the right to make their own choices. This concept has been further developed by philosophers throughout the ages.

Nonmaleficence - commonly summarized as “first, do no harm” and is part of the Hippocratic Oath, but the exact language in the oath differs from the common phrase.

Beneficence - this also originates with the Hippocratic Oath, and means that not only is the physician to “do no harm”, but that the physician must also promote the well-being of the individual.

Justice - means that each individual is to be treated fairly and is derived from ancient Greek and Christian principles as well as philosophers throughout history.

Fidelity - meaning that we do our best to be trustworthy and maintain professional standards.

Veracity - meaning we tell the truth.

Each of the three counseling professions, like most healthcare professions, use these ethical values as a guide for their profession-specific codes of ethics. In addition to the above-linked Code of Ethics for LMHCs, please see the Codes for LMFTs and LCSWs, listed below with their professional governing bodies.

Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFTs)
Governed by: American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy’s (AAMFT) Code of Ethics

Licensed Clinical Social Workers (LCSWs)
Governed by: National Association of Social Workers’ (NASW) Code of Ethics

Although written with different language, each of the three codes also emphasize the values of equality, social justice, and integrity between clinicians and clients as well as between professionals. The professional organizations also provide resources and encourage consultation between professionals when ethical concerns arise.

At Issue: Social Justice vs. Individual Justice

The ACA Preamble instructs Counselors that “promoting social justice” is a professional value. Social workers are described as promoting “social justice and social change with and on behalf of clients” in their Preamble, while Marriage and Family Therapists’ Commitment Statement includes being “concerned with developing laws and regulations pertaining to marriage and family therapy that serve the public interest, and with altering such laws and regulations that are not in the public interest”.

This commitment to social justice does not include advocating for political, moral, religious, sexual, racial, or other forms of justice. While Counselors are ethically obligated not to discriminate, the professional ethics of social justice refer only to mental health advocacy. The professional associations do not have any authority on clinicians’ personal, individual advocacy choices or values.

Some counselors or therapists struggle with the balance between their responsibilities towards individuals vs. their responsibilities towards the social system. If an individual therapist also has difficulty with the basic counseling skill of ‘bracketing’ - the setting aside of one’s personal beliefs and biases in order to provide nonjudgmental service to clients - they are at risk of harming their clients and violating their professional ethical requirements.

Given the above, logic dictates that refusing to treat a client whose profession or political views differ from the therapist’s own is a clear violation of professional ethical standards. Whether or not this constitutes a legal issue is best answered by attorneys.

So will he/she judge me, or what?

In an ideal world, your therapist will not judge you.

Well-trained counselors with high ethical standards will do their best to think of you with “unconditional positive regard” (Carl Rogers, Ph.D., Person-Centered Therapy) and remember the statement “people are doing the best they can at any given moment” (Dr. Marsha Linehan, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). They actively work to view issues from their clients’ unique perspectives. They proactively seek out professional supervision or consultation when they have difficulty reconciling an issue with their personal values. They do not refuse to treat clients who have views contrary or offensive to their own.

Unfortunately, the world is not ideal. While none of us are perfect and we all hold our own biases, a skilled counselor will do their best to self-examine their responses and behaviors, maintain emotional homeostasis, and keep their professional composure. Unskilled or inexperienced therapists might have difficulty with these tasks. If you are feeling judged by your therapist, tell them. Most of the time, counselors welcome constructive criticism and will do their best to repair the professional relationship with you.

There are, however, certain times when a counselor or therapist is ethically required to refer you to a different provider, but only for legitimate treatment reasons, such as the counselor not being trained in a particular area. Some examples of these areas include addictions, eating disorders, or gender reassignment, as clients with these issues are best served by counselors with specialized training. Counselors can and do still work with clients in their own areas of expertise, such as counseling a transgender person for depression, anxiety, or trauma while referring out for the gender reassignment counseling.

I think my therapist is judging me due to my political views. What do I do?

The first thing to do is to talk to your therapist directly and tell them how you feel. Give them the opportunity to reflect on what they’ve said or done that has made you feel uncomfortable. Hopefully, it’s an honest misunderstanding that an apology and open discussion will resolve.

If talking directly to your counselor doesn’t resolve the issue, you can call the office and speak to their supervisor. You can request reassignment to a different counselor, or referral to another agency.

Lastly, you can consider whether to file a formal complaint with the therapist’s professional association or licensing board. This ‘nuclear option’ should be reserved for serious violations involving significant harm or distress, not as a means of getting revenge, because you’re angry, or because you disagree with your counselor’s personal values. They, too, have a right to their beliefs outside of the counseling session, and filing frivolous complaints not only damages the individual counselor, but the profession as a whole.

Links to Other Professional Codes of Ethics:

Now that you know about mental health ethical standards and what to do in case of a conflict with your therapist, I invite you to review the following links to the ethical codes of other common healthcare professions.

Doctors/Physicians: AMA-Code Homepage

Nurses: 2025 Code of Ethics for Nurses | American Nurses Enterprise

Anesthesiologists: Principles for the Ethical Practice of Anesthesiology

Nurse Anesthetists: AANA | Professional Practice Manual

Emergency Medical Services: EMS Code of Ethics

Dentists: Code of Ethics | American Dental Association

Medical Assistants: aama-code-of-conduct-and-disciplinary-standards.pdf

One More Link:

Lastly, because it is trending on social media recently, this is a link to the potential criminal charges and lawsuit liability that tampering with someone’s food can bring. Don't risk it!
Is It Illegal to Spit in Someone’s Food? - LegalClarity

Heidi E. Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

]]><![CDATA[More Funny Videos for Good Mental health]]>Sun, 04 Jan 2026 16:15:21 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/more-funny-videos-for-good-mental-health

Happy New Year!

Periodically, we like to share some of our favorite feel-good content on the internet. In case you missed them, here are a couple:

Depression Busters! Funny Stuff to Watch when Feeling Down
Five Favorite Feel-Good YouTube Channels

To start off the new year, we have a few more content creators who we find funny, positive, and non-political (the trifecta!):

Josh Pray

Josh has a lot of great content, but my favorites are his “5 things” videos. Not too short, not too long, and always funny.

Josh Pray - YouTube
Just Josh Pray 😥 (@_joshpray) / X
Josh Pray - Facebook
Josh Pray - Instagram

OMGItsWicks

I’m not going to lie. I came very close to buying a flipphone last time I upgraded, just so I could flip it up like Wicks does!

OMGitsWicks - YouTube
(1) omgitswicks (@omgitswicks) / X
OMGitsWicks | TikTok
Omgitswicks / Florida sketch comedy (@omgitswicks) • Instagram photos and videos

Garron (Irish humor)

Be forewarned, he curses and is rude, but if you can get past that, he is really funny! Some of our favorites are his food reviews.

Garron - YouTube

JOne8

When I discovered JOne8, aka Jalen Hinton, I discovered I was a black parent. He had me laughing as I thought about my own upbringing - and some of the things I’ve said as a parent!

J.One.8 - YouTube
Jalen Hinton (@thej.one.8) | TikTok
Jalen Hinton (@j.one.8) • Instagram photos and videos
JONE8TV - Twitch
JOne8 on Facebook

Chris Chris

The first video I saw was the Christian-approved dances, and I nearly spit out my coffee! If you were raised in the church, like I was, this should tickle your funny bones, too.

Chris Chris - YouTube
Chris Chris (@chrischris011) • Instagram photos and videos
Chris Chris Comedy on Facebook
Chris Chris on TikTok

Adrian Bliss

Adrian’s deadpan delivery and quirky sense of humor about history, bodily functions, and the Bible keep me giggling! Another one that is not always for young audiences, but much of it is fine. Just prescreen before showing the youngsters.

Adrian Bliss - YouTube
Adrian Bliss - TikTok
Adrian Bliss (@adrianbliss) / X
Adrian Bliss (@adrianbliss) • Instagram photos and videos

With this recent collection of funny stuff, we wish you good mental health and much happiness in this hope-filled new year.

*We are not affiliated with any of the creators listed above, and do not receive any compensation for listing them. In fact, we’re pretty sure they are unaware we exist.

Heidi E. Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

]]><![CDATA[Mental Health Issues behind Doxxing & Cyberbullying]]>Wed, 31 Dec 2025 20:45:22 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/mental-health-issues-behind-doxxing-cyberbullying

If you’ve been on the internet at all, you’ve likely noticed the increase in toxic online behaviors, especially in the last 10 years or so. It’s become such a widespread problem that the National Institutes of Health have even issued an article summarizing a study on the correlation between cyberbullying and teen suicidality. While most of us are aware that correlation does not necessarily equate to causation, the evidence is clear that cyberbullying likely plays a significant role in suicidal ideation for many teens.

Cyberbullying’s evil twins, doxxing and cancel culture, have dangerously increased the real-world risk of harm to people, and worse - attempted to justify attacks on others, including violence, through dehumanization and inflammatory rhetoric.

What has gone so horribly wrong, so quickly?

Moreover, what can we do about it?

In this writer’s opinion, mental health and developmental issues are at the core of this complex societal problem. The good news is that by using some of the tools from different types of therapy, we can heal both ourselves and society. Below is a brief list of some of the issues and solutions pulled from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and Choice Theory/Reality Therapy (CT/RT).

Issue: Incomplete brain development impacting our ability to control our impulses and to think critically.

Solution: While we wait for that portion of our brain to fully mature (at around age 25), there are some things we can do to help increase these skills. To increase your impulse control, practice by waiting for something you enjoy. This could be waiting to play a video game until you’ve finished a project (chores, homework, etc.) or waiting 20 minutes after eating before having dessert.

Improving our critical thinking skills is essential for all ages to have a happier, more well-adjusted life. It can be harder to do, especially when what we hear or read supports our own beliefs (called confirmation bias), but a good start is to ask ourselves the questions below, paraphrased from CBT. We’ll use this recent article about a female airline pilot whose satirical website, Montecito Minimalist, has brought her some additional income, as well as some online ire.

What is a one sentence summary of my thought?
- This woman is being mean and deserves to be fired.
Is there good evidence to support this thought?
- She’s making fun of Meghan Markle and Prince Harry with her product line.
- She admits it’s satire.
What evidence is there against this thought?
- Satire is an art form dating back to at least the ancient Greeks, intended to point out “social criticism”.
- The products make fun of some of Meghan Markle’s and Prince Harry’s choices and behaviors, not them personally.
- She clarifies on her website that ‘These products are real but the intent is purely satirical…’
Am I assuming I’m right without having the whole story?
- I believe Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are being unfairly targeted with cruel comments, but I have not done the research to see if anything their critics say is true or false.
What might someone else think about this?
- We criticize public people (politicians, celebrities, etc.) all the time, so Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are no different from any other public figure.
- Saturday Night Live, Steven Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel and many others use satire/sarcasm as a way to humorously criticize public figures, which is no different than what Montecito Minimalist is doing.
If I look at this positively, what changes?
- A woman is finding success as an entrepreneur, which I would normally support, and is not doing any real harm to anyone in the process. The tabloids are much more critical of Meghan & Harry.
- The additional publicity might even benefit Meghan & Harry, and drive more traffic to the As Ever website.
Does this really impact my life? Will it matter 10 years from now?
- Although I feel upset by this website, I am not in any danger, I have not been harmed, and I probably won’t even remember this 10 years from now.

Issue: The bullying mindset that drives people to try to “correct” the behavior of someone with whom they disagree. Some common reasons why people bully are emotional trauma, insecurity, poor social skills, learned habit, and lack of empathy. In my opinion, a feeling of powerlessness is also a contributing factor. A recent public example of this is that of Michelea Ponce and Jeannie Beeman. Michelea bullied Jeannie, a 70 year old Target employee, for wearing a Turning Point USA tee shirt while she worked. To her credit, Jeannie handled it gracefully by walking away and refusing to argue. Michelea was subsequently bullied online, with thousands of people reporting her to her employer, calling for her to be fired, and leaving nasty comments. (Michelea later apologized publicly.)

Solution: This case is an excellent example of how someone can both be a bully and be bullied. Michelea threatened to report Jeannie to her employer, then was reported to her own employer when the video went viral.

What prompted Michelea to bully Jeannie? It may be because she has an external locus of control, meaning that she feels solutions to problems are largely outside of her control. We can see this in the video because Michelea angrily confronts Jeannie with cursing and insults and threats to report Jeannie to her manager. Jeannie, on the other hand, demonstrates an internal locus of control, demonstrated by her calm responses to Michelea and refusing to argue, and means she likely believes that her own actions and efforts directly impact the outcomes in her life.

In Choice Theory, William Glasser identifies Power as one of the 5 basic human needs. In this context, Power is defined as achievement or accomplishment. People who have an external locus of control are less likely to feel that their efforts achieve the outcomes they desire, and are therefore not getting this basic human need met adequately. To change our locus of control from external to internal and start meeting our need for achievement, we can start by reminding ourselves of three concepts.

The first concept is from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and is called the Circle of Control. In this diagram, we have two concentric circles on a page - similar to a doughnut. The inside, smaller circle is “Things I Can Control”, while the outer ring is “Things I Can’t Control”. Essentially the smaller ring is a list of behaviors and choices that we personally make, while the outer ring represents everything and everyone else in the world. Defining these in writing can help us in making our own choices.

The second concept is from Choice Theory and is called The Axioms of Choice Theory. These axioms are popular because they are empowering. They remind us of the tremendous influence we have over our own circumstances and importantly, the things which we need to let go.

Lastly, also from Choice Theory/Reality Therapy, is Wubbolding’s WDEP process. Each letter stands for a step in the process individuals can take to make changes in order to reach their desired end goal and can be visualized as 4 questions:

What do I Want?
What am I Doing to get what I want?
Evaluate - Is what I am doing effectively working?
Plan - What do I need to do differently to accomplish my goal?

Utilizing the Circle of Control and the WDEP process, we can begin to empower ourselves - leading to happier, healthier lives. Perhaps that’s what Jeannie did when she gave an interview and stated that she did not believe Michelea deserved to lose her job over her unfortunate choice to bully Jeannie that day in Target. Jeannie said, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Issue: Unresolved anger and frustration regarding what others appear to get away with saying.

Solution: This is a really tough issue to cope with, as it can feel like we’re not being heard and that what other people are doing is so wrong. Leaving these feelings unresolved can put us at risk of acting violently, whether that’s low-level “traumatize them back” energy or as serious as assassination attempts, like the recent ones on Charlie Kirk and President Trump.

There can be many reasons that contribute to unresolved anger, and you’ll likely feel better more quickly if you work with a licensed mental health counselor to help you process the emotions and any underlying trauma that contributes to them. However, a good place to start is with practicing DBT’s distress tolerance skills. Briefly, they are:

Radical Acceptance - focusing your energy on accepting the facts of a situation, even when you don’t like or agree with them. By focusing on the facts, we learn to recognize that some things exist regardless of how we feel about them. Example: I hate cancer. It’s taken too many loved ones, but I accept that it exists in the world.

Soothing with Senses - using your five senses to relax and distract yourself from your current distressing mood. Examples: holding an ice cube in your hand, eating a sour or spicy candy, smelling a perfume or candle with a soothing scent, listening to soft music, or looking at beautiful art images.

ACCEPTS - this is an acronym to remind us of 7 types of things we can do to distract our brains and our bodies from the distress.
- Activities - doing something, preferably FUN, that requires your focus and attention. Examples: reading, lifting weights, crochet, Legos
- Contributing - Doing something for someone else. This could be as formal as volunteering or as simple as a random act of kindness.
- Comparisons - Reminding yourself of a time you’ve felt as bad, that you overcame that time, and you’ll get through this one, too.
- Emotions - Do something that evokes the opposite emotion from the distressful one. Example: When sad, put on happy music and dance in the living room.
- Pushing Away - Use your imagination to temporarily pause thinking about what’s bothering you. Example: Imagine the distress as an object that you put into a box, tape it up, and shove it in the back of your closet until you are ready to deal with it.
- Thoughts - Play a mental game to distract your thoughts. Examples include counting backwards from 100 by 7s, reciting a poem or tongue twister from memory, or singing the alphabet backwards.
- Sensations - (see Soothing with Senses above).

When we see something online that makes us angry, it’s important to remember that “two wrongs don’t make a right” and stop ourselves before engaging in these behaviors. If our goal is to reduce the anger, frustration, and pain so many are feeling, these are just a starting point towards eliminating the toxic traits of doxxing and bullying. In a world of Micheleas, let's all be Jeannies.

Lastly, I cannot emphasize enough the importance of working with a skilled licensed mental health counselor. The concepts outlined above are a starting point and are in no way a substitute for quality mental health care.

For related articles, please check out our previous posts on Charlie Kirk and Surviving Election Season.

*We are not affiliated with any of the companies listed, and do not receive any compensation for listing them. In fact, we’re pretty sure they are unaware we exist.

Heidi E. Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

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]]><![CDATA[On Charlie Kirk, Civil Discourse, and the Politics of Violence]]>Thu, 11 Sep 2025 21:50:06 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/on-charlie-kirk-civil-discourse-and-the-politics-of-violence

My fellow Americans,

Like many of you, I was left reeling after the assassination of Charlie Kirk yesterday, the thought of his 1 and 3 year old children growing up without him, and the representative attack on free speech. I was up most of the night praying about this Turning Point (if you’ll pardon the pun) in our country’s history.

The reactions from my clients and social circle reflect the division we see exaggerated in the press daily, and run the gamut from shocked grief to gleeful celebration. This message is to all of us.

We have lost.

The Problem

The standards for political discussion, as older generations will remember, were civil discourse and free speech. These were core values on which liberals and conservatives alike agreed.

Charlie Kirk exemplified the tenets of civil discourse and the exercise of free speech. He gave the microphone to those who disagreed with him so they, too, could exercise their free speech. He debated, not argued, facts and values in a rational manner and invited others to debate their own views. He publicly course-corrected when information he presented previously was proven false, and apologized publicly. He was unapologetic about his beliefs without shaming others for theirs, despite challenging those with opposing views. In mental health terms, this is a healthy way to disagree.

The increasing propensity for violence in our country is complex and has many contributing factors, including but not limited to media irresponsibility, political propaganda, lowered academic achievement, a culture of unaccountability, spiritual corruption, lack of critical thinking skills, and mental health distress. Experts in these areas will likely be all over the media arguing about the causes and can speak much more competently on these subjects than I can. Those who know me, however, can attest that I am very much a solutions-oriented clinician.

Most of us would agree that America is divided today, and as Abraham Lincoln famously quoted from the Bible, “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” If you agree with that sentiment, you likely agree that America is in trouble. If we don’t fix us, the United States, last bastion of freedom in the world, will fall - and as America goes, there (often) goes the world.

The Solution

The solution is beautifully simple, yet incredibly hard.

It’s you. You alone can change the trajectory of the nation - perhaps the world.

In therapy world, we teach people about an internal vs. external locus of control and about the Circle of Control, sometimes called the Circle of Influence. What these boil down to is this: The only person we have any control over is ourselves. Period. The only way to influence others to change their behavior is by changing our own.

In Choice Theory/Reality Therapy, Robert Wubbolding, EdD developed the WDEP method of personal problem solving/goal achievement and evaluating results. Each letter stands for a step in the process individuals can take to make changes in order to reach their desired end goal and can be visualized as 4 questions:

What do I Want?
What am I Doing to get what I want?
Evaluate - Is what I am doing effectively working?
Plan - What do I need to do differently to accomplish my goal?

Applying these four questions to the United States right now, it’s clear that neither side is getting what we want, or we wouldn’t be so angry with each other. What we’re doing isn’t working, or we would be getting more united, not more divided. Thus, it’s clear that we need a new plan, and that new plan begins with each individual American. Will you join me in choosing personal responsibility to work on ourselves to resolve our differences? Maybe, just maybe, we can heal the country.

A New Plan

Let go of the anger and hurt, and instead practice forgiveness. Forgiveness Therapy can help when we struggle with letting go of the hurts, especially when the other person doesn’t deserve it.

Listen to understand, not to argue. This can be hard when strong emotions are involved, but is essential to bridging the divide between us.

Set aside emotions and be respectful of others, especially those you consider “wrong”. Use respectful language and describe the issues calmly and factually without resorting to slurs, assumptions, or derogatory comments. Hold your friends to the same standard. When we use disrespectful language, we dehumanize others, eventually resulting in violence. Violence will only further divide us.

Be skeptical when it comes to politics and media. Don’t trust that what you’re seeing is true, especially if it agrees with your confirmation bias. Check primary sources, watch the whole video or read the whole article for context instead of just the short clip or the headline, and be open to how others might interpret the situation differently. Remember, neither politicians nor media sources get paid if you don’t vote/click/watch, so they use propaganda and inflammatory language to get you outraged enough to give them your attention and your money.

Reduce time spent on social media and AI and more time interacting with people in person. Views = money, and the social media algorithms are designed to keep showing you more of what you click on or spend time viewing. This gives us a very negative, very inaccurate view of the world. You may have heard the term “echo chamber” - social media is the ultimate echo chamber. AI adapts to the information you give it, so it, too, ultimately becomes an echo chamber. Too much time on social media can also contribute to depression.

Build up your in-person relationships, expand your social circle to include those who believe differently than you do, and try to reconcile with friends or family you cut off due to politics. This is good for your mental health and theirs, too. Relationships are also key to rebuilding our national unity. If this is a struggle for you, an unbiased licensed mental health provider can help.

Be flexible. If we aren’t willing to change our opinions, how can we expect others to do so?

I leave you with the wise words of Abraham Lincoln, spoken on November 20, 1860:

“In all our rejoicing let us neither express, nor cherish, any harsh feeling towards any citizen who, by his vote, has differed with us. Let us at all times remember that all American citizens are brothers of a common country, and should dwell together in the bonds of fraternal feeling.”

God Bless America.

]]><![CDATA[Healthy Attachment: Practical Tips and Resources for Parents]]>Sun, 27 Jul 2025 18:27:04 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/healthy-attachment-practical-tips-and-resources-for-parents

Illustrations of the four parenting styles laid out in a square, from top left clockwise: authoritarian, authoritative, uninvolved, permissive. Image credit: Joshua Seong in Parents magazine

Many times, parents find themselves in a position of rebuilding relationships with their children after a separation (perhaps from divorce, prison, or prolonged illness), building new relationships with children (such as when fostering), or adapting to maintain closeness as children age. This article is intended to serve as a short list of best parenting practices that will encourage close relationships between parents or caregivers and their children. A resource list is provided at the end.

Part 1: Parenting Style

Original research identified three main parenting style types: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive, based on parental control, and further research added the neglectful style.

Recent research confirms original findings that children whose parents have an authoritative parenting style typically have the best outcomes, as they are made to feel supported and loved while reasonable rules are pragmatically enforced. This article does a good job of describing the different styles and explaining why it is important to adopt an authoritative style rather than one of the other three types.

Those children who grow up with parents utilizing one of the other three styles, especially authoritarian style, have poorer outcomes (see studies and article linked above).

   Tips

Limit rules primarily to safety, as age appropriate. Young children may do well with 2-3 safety rules, while teenagers may be ready for 4-5.

Praise for positives. Catch your child behaving well and compliment them in the moment. Kids are motivated by your approval.

Keep punishments short and low emotion, ignoring behaviors that you don’t want them to repeat (except in the case of safety issues, which require immediate intervention). Grounding a teen from their phone for a day is painful enough - grounding them for a month feels endless and can cause them to lose hope that they can succeed, which puts them at risk of giving up. Keep those redemption goals attainable!

Part 2: Healthy Attachment Activity Principles

Attachment can be disrupted for any number of reasons. Some examples include parental substance use; parental mental or physical illness; separation, death, or divorce; parental incarceration; children’s placement in foster care; and adopted children. However, there is hope to rebuild a strong bond when parents or caregivers are open to change and put in the effort.

A quick internet search will provide many ideas for activities, so for this article, we’re highlighting the principles that make a good bonding activity. The Five Love Languages of Children is a great place to start when trying to decide what to do with your kids. They offer a free quiz on their website to quickly determine the love language of each member of the family.

The basics of attachment begin with the concept of things we do with newborns. We gaze into their eyes adoringly. We hold them, snuggle them, and make sure they are warm and fed. We tell them how cute they are and how much we love them. We tell each other, in baby’s presence, how much they look like a family member or which tiny new behaviors remind us of one or the other of the parents. These behaviors are vital to the baby growing into a safe and happy relationship with his or her parents. Using imagination, parents and caregivers can recreate these behaviors in age-appropriate ways for their children.

   Guidelines for Attachment Activities

Eye contact - Keeping in mind the eye contact we make with babies, adapt this to your child’s age. Some examples of recreating eye contact with older children and teenagers include playing a game of who can avoid blinking first (might be too intense with some kids - make sure your gaze is gentle, not piercing); seeing who can make the other laugh with funny faces; paint each other’s faces with nontoxic face paints; or see who can wiggle their ears or eyebrows.

Physical touch - Appropriate physical touch from parents/caregivers can be reassuring and enhance a child’s feeling of safety. If a child is not comfortable with hugs yet, other alternatives include high fives, sitting close to each other on the couch to read or watch a movie, side hugs, or tracing their hand on a piece of paper for them to color/paint/glue colored paper.

Feeding - There is something uniquely intimate about the preparation, sharing and feeding of meals together which offers a fantastic opportunity to increase bonding. For older kids, letting them help with each step to choose a meal, shop for a meal, prepare the meal, and eat the meal together with the parent combines both the principle of feeding as well as the shared experience of working together while receiving positive parental attention. Note that this is only a bonding experience if it is a positive one with praise from the parent for the child’s attempts, not criticism for mistakes. It is also not an attachment experience if this is a chore assigned to the child rather than a shared activity with the parent/caregiver.

When feeding younger children, parents can arrange meals into animal shapes or faces before serving or let the child arrange snack components on a plate for his/her own or parent’s snack. Snack time is also a chance for a game of “baby bird” - the child pretends to be a baby bird and the parent places a bite-size snack into the child’s mouth when he/she “peeps”.

Belonging - Building the child’s sense of belonging not only to his/her parents but also to the larger family unit serves as a protective factor as children enter their teenage and young adult years. Some ways to accomplish this include comparing family photographs and pointing out to the child ways they look like their parents and extended family; telling stories from the parents’ personal history and the family’s history; and including the child in family religious or cultural practices.

Praise - The importance of praise cannot be emphasized enough. It is one of the greatest motivating factors for positive behaviors in children and teens, much more so than strict discipline. Readers may recall the old adage, “How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice”, or “What are the first three rules of real estate? Location, location, location”. When it comes to raising well-adjusted children, it’s “Praise, praise, praise”. This is not to say that children should never be given correction, but that most of what they hear from parents/caregivers should be positive comments about their efforts to improve themselves (such as with homework) or qualities of good character. Examples include “I noticed how you keep trying to memorize your multiplication tables even though it’s hard. Good job!” “I am so proud of you for taking the trash out without being asked.” “I was so happy to hear that you sat next to the new kid in the cafeteria today. That was really kind.”

The guidelines above are a starting point. Readers are encouraged to use their own imagination and knowledge of their children to create additional activities and to browse the linked resources below for more information and inspiration.

Resources*

The 5 Love Languages of Children

Free Resources (from The 5 Love Languages)

Play Therapy Activities: 101 Play-Based Exercises to Improve Behavior and Strengthen the Parent-Child Connection: LaVigne LCSW RPT, Melissa: 9781647391263: Amazon.com: Books

Parenting With Love And Logic (Updated and Expanded Edition): Cline, Foster, Fay, Jim: 9781576839546: Amazon.com: Books

You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded), Revised and Updated Edition: Strategies for Bringing Out the Best in Your Strong-Willed Child: Tobias, Cynthia: 9781578565658: Amazon.com: Books

Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents: Gray, Deborah D.: 9781849058902: Amazon.com: Books

Facilitating Developmental Attachment: The Road to Emotional Recovery and Behavioral Change in Foster and Adopted Children: Hughes, Daniel A.: 9780765702708: Amazon.com: Books

99 Ways to Drive Your Child Sane: Clair, Brita St.: 9780970352514: Amazon.com: Books

Healing Parents: Helping Wounded Children Learn to Trust & Love: Orlans, Michael, Levy, Terry M.: 9781587600968: Amazon.com: Books

*We are not affiliated with any of the companies listed, and do not receive any compensation for listing them. In fact, we’re pretty sure they are unaware we exist.

Heidi E. Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

Follow us on Facebook, X, BlueSky, and LinkedIn.

Four illustrations in a square pattern with the positive model of others attachment styles at the top (secure and anxious with low avoidance) and the negative model of others at the bottom (avoidant and fearful with high avoidance). Image credit: Stock image from Dreamstime

]]><![CDATA[Overcoming Decision Fatigue, Task Paralysis & Perfectionism]]>Tue, 01 Jul 2025 21:32:42 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/overcoming-decision-fatigue-task-paralysis-perfectionism

If you’re neurodivergent, you may have hit the trifecta - decision fatigue, task paralysis, and perfectionism. Any one of these three issues can make life more difficult, but in combination, they can significantly impede progress towards your life goals. The following tools, tips, and mind tricks can help. The individual items are often helpful in more than one area, so check them all out!

Tools*

Gaming dice - this idea was developed while working with a client to overcome decision fatigue. Make a numbered list (or download our Gamifying Life free template lists) of 20 items - 15 chores of varying lengths and 5 short rewards. Break out your 20-sided gaming die and roll, doing whatever chore or reward’s number comes up.

Variations: Use one die for chores and one for rewards or use a die with fewer sides for lists of chores that take longer. Keep the lists for future use to avoid decision fatigue.

Finch - This free app gamifies self-care and rewards you for completing a goal. It’s customizable and starts off with easy to accomplish goals based on your preferences. Take care of yourself (and get some chores done) while sending your little bird on adventures, decorating its nest, and cashing in points for new outfits. You’ll also earn micropets for your Finch while meeting your personal goals. Invite friends to work on goals together. You can also pay for access to more clothes and furniture for your bird, but the free version works well on its own.

GoblinTools - If you haven’t discovered the free site GoblinTools and its different bots, you are in for a pleasant surprise. Our favorites include the MagicToDo list, which breaks projects down into all the steps (which can also be further broken down if needed) and The Chef, which tells you what you can cook for dinner when you list the ingredients you have in the house. The Formalizer will take your words and convert them into the style you would like to convey, such as more professional, more sociable, or grammatically correct. These are very popular with our clients.

Tiimo - This is a paid app (although it does have a free version with limited features) designed by neurodivergent people specifically for people with ADHD or other executive functioning needs. The free version includes planning tools, to-do lists, and the focus timer. The paid version has many additional features, such as widgets that keep your tasks on top to help you stay focused.

AudioDiary - This is a voice journaling app. In the paid version, AI will help by organizing your thoughts and suggesting goals, which may be easier than text input for some users.

Tips

Calendars - Simple but effective, calendars are great for visual organizers. One of our counselors uses an old school paper calendar to keep track of her three electronic calendars - two professional and one personal. There are several types out there, so research and experiment to find what works for you. We even had one client who used a spreadsheet to create a weekly schedule.

Extra tips: The keys to success when using calendars is to schedule more time than you think a task will take, only put what’s absolutely necessary on the calendar (like appointments, meetings, and events), and leave plenty of “whitespace” as a buffer in between items so you have time to compensate for changes without feeling overwhelmed.

Alarms - We have a running joke with some of our clients that we all have “hydrate & urinate” alarms set on our phones to help us break off from hyperfocus while working and engage in some health maintenance.

Task or To-Do lists - Another simple solution that works well, but the key is to avoid overloading yourself. We suggest making one big list of all the tasks you need or want to do, then picking 3-5 items for your daily “to do” list and cross them off as you do them. Count success as completing 1-3 items from the daily to-do list to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Then, whatever is leftover is still on the task list to be done another day.

Spreadsheets - Ah, spreadsheets. They scratch a mental itch like few other things do. If you haven’t yet discovered the glory of a good spreadsheet, let us introduce you. More than just a budget planner (although a fully developed budget with formulas that automatically update totals is a thing of beauty), spreadsheets can be used to set up routine tasks.

For example, we know of one person who used Google Sheets for meal planning so she could set it up once and not have to think about it again. She set up spreadsheets for 4 weeks of meal plans, linking to the recipes on the list. For each week, she listed all the ingredients to make double the amount of each recipe. Lastly, she used one of the pages in the spreadsheet to create to-do lists for herself and her partner to do the meal prep for the week’s recipes, reserving half of each for the freezer for a future meal.

Now they cook every other weekend and have meals for two weeks. When she was finished with the spreadsheets, it amounted to 8 weeks of meals without any more dinner decision making. Plus, her grocery list was ready to order online for delivery once every two weeks. To make it easier, she did one spreadsheet every other week until she had the four of them done instead of doing all four of them at once.

Mind tricks

GETMO - Good Enough to Move On describes the concept of doing enough instead of doing things perfectly. Perfectionism is the enemy of progress!

Just 5 Minutes - Set a timer and do just 5 minutes on a task. This helps overcome inertia. If you do just 5 minutes, you’ve succeeded. Once you get going, you may discover that you want to keep going once the timer dings, but you’re not obligated.

Plan to “Fail” - this is a concept I developed in working with neurodivergent clients. The idea is to define success as not meeting your target.

For example, a client once wanted to get all their cleaning done on Friday mornings, leaving the rest of their weekend for fun and rest. They made a list of the things they needed to do, in order, to maximize efficiency. They committed to getting up and doing their cleaning every Friday morning, but there’s a catch. The client had to choose one Friday per month to “fail” to clean in order to successfully meet their goal. This meant that if a special event came up or if the client got sick, they could still meet their success goal of cleaning all three Fridays. By allowing room for imperfection, the client avoided discouragement.

We hope these ideas are helpful. Please let us know in the comments if you have any tools, tips, or tricks we should add.

*We are not affiliated with any of the companies listed, and do not receive any compensation for listing them. In fact, we’re pretty sure they are unaware we exist.

Heidi Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

Follow us on Facebook, X, BlueSky, and LinkedIn.

]]><![CDATA[Depression Busters! Funny Stuff to Watch When Feeling Down]]>Sun, 22 Jun 2025 21:02:11 GMThttps://www.themangroves.net/blog/depression-busters-funny-stuff-to-watch-when-feeling-down

“Doomscrolling” and “dopamine” have hit the modern vocabulary almost as ubiquitously as “peanut butter and jelly”. While I’d much rather advise clients to distract themselves offline (to “touch grass” in the best possible way), there are times when scrolling the interwebs is the easiest solution. For those times, here are some of our family’s top picks for mindless, funny entertainment, (mostly) without mentioning politics. So here are a few of our favorites. Please comment with your favorites, which may be added to a future update.

Greg Davies, Welsh Comedian, Host
Taskmaster, British comedy “game show”

Leann Morgan, Comedienne
   All Daughters are Mean - Full Show
   So Yummy - Full Show (you’ll have to register for free to watch)
   YouTube Shorts

Sarah Millican, English Comedienne
   Chatterbox, 2011 full show
   Thoroughly Modern Millican, 2012 full show
   Home Bird, 2014 full show

Chris O’Dowd, Richard Ayoade, & Katherine Parkinson, Comedians
The IT Crowd, older British comedy

Angela Johnson Reyes, Comedienne
   Say I Won’t, 2023 full show
   Technically Not Stalking, 2022 full show
   Mahalo and Goodnight, 27 minute live stream

Heidi Jameson, LMHC is the founder of The Mangroves Seeds of Change, LLC. You can read more about her here.

Follow us on Facebook, X, BlueSky, and LinkedIn.

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